Food for Thought 💡- On limitations.
On limitations, being human, and friendship with Jesus
Hi, there!
In university, I was infamous for pulling several all-nighters on a row during finals. My best friend and I have memories of her bringing me a can of diet coke, a slice of pizza, or coffee, depending on the hour of the day or night, at the library. There was a section opened 24 hrs and boy did I make use of it.
I recall one year I even had a dance rehearsal coincide with finals. Even though I was running on about seven hours of sleep I’d manage in three days combined, I managed to turn in my papers and make it to the three-hour rehearsal. You have to be in your 20s to pull that off. My 40-something-year-old body, now pushing 50, is tired just writing that last sentence!
It’s funny when I think how cavalier I was about rest, health, not to mention study habits! There’s something daring, bordering on foolishness. My youth made it possible to get away with it, and gave me a misguided sense of invincibility that would be soon debunked in grad school a few years later.
That sense of strength capable of pushing past any boundary is something most of us carry into adulthood. I find this to be especially prevalent in Western culture, where I was brought up, educated, and have resided for most of my life.
We like to be strong enough, to pull ourselves by our bootstraps, to prove we can do it and so much more. Whatever it is.
How We Are Made
I think there are instances where one needs to push past limits, and run the extra mile or miles. However, I feel we often make that the rule. It becomes a lifestyle; and the desired identity. It’s a positive trait to be known for our ability to do all the things, to handle a lot, and come out seemingly unscathed. What blooms into expectation, becomes a source of disappointment and self-doubt when it’s not met.
Much of that narrative is what I fed my caffeinated brain back when I was busy climbing the corporate ladder after university. I remember vividly my mental and emotional state when I eventually left what would be my last job in the business world after a seasoned career of 15+ years.
It took several months for me to relearn how to be a person again. Although my example is extreme, I don’t think the pattern is unusual. Ask anyone going through an extended period of physical and/or mental exertion, and they’ll tell you they miss basic things, whether that’s having a solid night’s rest, taking a shower every day, enjoying a cup of coffee or tea, or something else that’s small; they miss feeling human.
Recently I’ve been taken by the realization that friendship with Jesus humanizes me. Being in relationship with God-made flesh, re-acquaints me with the wonderful facts of my design; I am made. Therefore I can also be unmade. That is the most basic truth of my humanity. I’m breakable.
This is true figuratively and literally, as both my bones and my heart can break. There are limits to what I can do with my body, my time, and what my hands and my life can hold. This is so, not by accident but intentionally. We are wonderfully and fearfully made human. With all that our design entails.
Jesus who like me was made of bones and ligaments covered with flesh; whose eyes had ducts and who felt the emotions to make tears flow from them; who felt anguish to the point of having the physical reaction of blood sweating through his pores; was also a man whose feet walked on water and whose voice commanded a storm to calm. In all his loveliness and mystery, he understands, sees, and wants to cover us.
With any effort I make to push the limits and boundaries of my humanity, I bump into him. His enoughness meets me, reminding me I am not meant to cover it all. That’s his job. In him, I find true rest.
What We Were Made For
It’s a paradox to feel so small and also safe. Being in the presence of someone who is and was and always will be, sheds light on my humanity gently and swiftly. His very presence and being confirms my size and the safety I enjoy because I am with him. In all his God-robustness yet being fully embodied, Jesus helps me to embrace my humanity and find in him all that it might lack.
I’m only 5’2”, that’s about 1 meter 57, give or take. So when I try to extend my frame as far as it’ll go to reach for the cupboard above my kitchen, I can’t reach what I need without the aid of a small stool to step on. It helps make up for the rest of the height I’m lacking in order to grab what I need. Much like a thesaurus covers the gap between my vocabulary and the desire to say things more accurately. There’s only so much I can do on my own.
Then there are boundaries. These invisible lines placed around us to mark the borders within which to function. Like time, for example. We are all given the same 24 hours. Some of those should be for sleeping, while other portions are needed for work, family, and recreation. To try and colour outside the lines for any of these is to take away from elsewhere because the total sum is always 24 hours.
Being in a close relationship with someone who is personally acquainted with what it means to live embodied re-calibrates my self-awareness along with my God-awareness. To paraphrase Jen Wilken (who paraphrased John Calvin), there is no self-knowledge apart from knowing God.
Truly, we become most human when we are in a relationship with our Maker. How much I need that. To know my limits is to know what I need. And Jesus is first on the list.
We fret trying to come up with all the resources, muster all the strength, figure out all the moving pieces, make the perfect plan. We find an invitation to go to the One who holds all things when we realize we can’t. The result we’re looking for is to get what we want so we can move forward. The result he’s after is to give us Himself.
Worthwhile
This interview with poet Malcolm Guite, who is also an Anglican priest, was a lovely and thoughtful read. Fully recommend it.
“Evoking online discourse, particularly on social media, Guite's poem also reflects on the contemporary implications of a gospel passage, in which Jesus says:
"But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned." – Matthew 12:36 - 27
(…) It's something we've come to realize, and particularly in the age of the internet and social media, but it was true back in biblical times…. we sometimes think that, well, it's only really what you do that matters and anybody can say anything. But speech is also an action. We're verbal creatures and language is the medium in which our minds move and mix. So words do have extraordinary power. They used to have these posters during the Second World War about people not speaking, saying "loose lips sink ships."
—>Here’s Guite’s poem What if, on which the interview is based:
From ‘Good Enough’ to ‘He is Enough’: Finding Freedom from the Pressures of Motherhood by Ashley Setterllind
I have many mommy friends. You’re amazing! This piece is filled with encouragement.
“Perfection is not required of me, for it has already been satisfied in the work of my perfect Savior. Freedom does not arrive when I figure it all out, know all the right answers, and make all the best choices. Despite what the best sleep-training techniques will sell me, freedom in motherhood will not appear with a solid schedule. True freedom comes when I choose to walk in the victory Christ has already won.”
Writer’s Corner/
I shared a few weeks ago how much I love personal essays. I find this particular writing style so fitting for the exploration of ideas and to display real artistry with prose. So, here are two wonderful resources for those who enjoy or are curious to learn more about personal essays. Similar in name, they’re distinct and helpful each in its own way.
The Art of the Essay is a friendly guide to learn the how and why of personal essay writing by a lovely writer, Charity Singleton Craig. You may remember her name from my post on newsletters and the ones I enjoy most. Her Wonder Report is awesome!
The other, The Art of the Personal Essay - An Anthology from the Classical Era to the Present, is an anthology of some of the best-known and most celebrated essays introduced by Philip Lopate. The intro alone is worth the price of admission with that one.
“And the more I considered Christianity, the more I found that while it had established a rule and order, the chief aim of that order was to give room for good things to run wild.”
-G.K. Chesterton
.
Thanks for reading. See you in a week! Praying for you, and grateful for you.
Here’s a bit of fun. A few weeks ago, my hairdryer died on me literally when I was halfway done. The result below ;) The poor thing was nearly a decade old.
Can you guess which half didn’t get dried? Lol!
So much good stuff here, Paola! I think recognizing our limits could almost be a spiritual practice, something we need to examine and accept again and again in our lives as our capacity shrinks and expands.
I also remember pulling a few all-nighters in university and now I can barely stay up past 9!
Finally, thanks for sharing The Art of the Essay. I’m glad it is a helpful resource for writers.